That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
