I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
