and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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