Are we in a gay sports bar?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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