i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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