of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
