what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
