Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
