I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
