take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
