Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
