So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
