You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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