Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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