we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
