I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
