This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize