you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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