Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
