I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
