Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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