your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
