At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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