you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My penis needs a shock collar
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
