What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
