She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
