This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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