His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We were destined to go to rehab together
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
