dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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