so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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