Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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