Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Four minutes until I can fart!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
