I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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