uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
