am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
