you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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