You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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