remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
