OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
