it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
