is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
