Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
