What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
