do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
