dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
