I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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