what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
