You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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