It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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