She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
