What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
