he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
