I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's shark week go big or go home
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
