Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
