You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
