yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
