pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He has the fingertips of a God
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