You're my little dorito
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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