I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
