so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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