lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
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