Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
