then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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