Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
