i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
